I’m going the traditional route. I plan to take my fiance’s last name after we get married, even though it’s harder to spell than my maiden name. While it is what I want to do, I’m not looking forward to it at all. Looking at all the things that one needs to do to change his/her last name looks like a mission in and of itself.

I did ask John if he is willing to change his last name to mine. Since his parents are divorced and he doesn’t like his father, he is willing to do it. But he is not that organized and I’m a bit old-fashioned, so we decided I’m changing mine.

Below are tips and a checklist for changing your last name:

Read on…

Since I like the Brides.com site, I figured I will like their blog Wedded Bits as well.  Unfortunately, not.  I’ve had the blog on my RSS reader for months and I decided to take it out. 

I noticed that most of the entries on Wedded Bits are about wedding products and services.  I’m starting to believe these posts are sponsored – they were paid to post about these products and services.  If there are any tips or advice at wedding planning at all, they revolve around a product or service.  One exception are the “Brides are Talking” posts which pertains to posts in their forums, which I think didn’t really require much effort or thinking from the part of the blog authors.

There was one post where the author began his/her post about a nice venue in Manhattan where they held a bridal shower without mentioning the venue’s name.  Then the author proceeded to talk about a similar venue in California which was the main topic of the post.  I then left a comment asking about the venue in Manhattan, but I never got a response.  Some assumptions I had as to why: they weren’t paid to mention the Manhattan venue; whatever Manhattan venue they were really talking didn’t exist so they don’t really have a specific name they can tell me.

Traditionally, couples register for home items to help them start their new life. In present times, more couples have already established a home of their own before they marry, and home items are things they no longer need.  In response to this growing trend, other types of registries emerge.  Couples now have more options when it comes to wedding registries.

Wedding Registry Direct allows couples to register for wedding products and services from photography to cakes.  It’s one way to tell your guests, “I want you to help me pay for my wedding.”  Admit it brides, weddings are expensive and it would be awesome if guests choose to contribute or help with your wedding.  But of course, etiquette says you are not allowed to ask your guests exactly that.

What are your opinions about this type of registry?

 Loading …

Photo by Nely Photography

Aside from knowing what to wear to a wedding, there are some etiquette guidelines for the day of the wedding.

Arrive at the ceremony on time, preferably 30 minutes before it’s scheduled to start.  If you’re late, seat yourself quietly in the back when the processional is over.

Do not attend just the reception if you’re invited to the ceremony as well.

If there is a receiving line, do not skip it.  If it’s a big affair, this may be your only chance to chat with the couple and congratulate them.

Mingle during cocktail hour.  That’s what it’s for.

Introduce yourselves to the guests seated at your table that you haven’t met.

Don’t be a party pooper.  If there’s a bouquet throw and/or garter toss, take part in it.  If there are things at the wedding you think is tacky, keep your feelings to yourself.  This is how the couple wants it and it’s not really your place to complain.

Do not leave too early.  Leave at least after the wedding cake is cut.  Do not leave without saying goodbye and thanking at least a member of the couple’s immediate family, if you can’t reach the couple.

Click here for the complete Wedding Guest Etiquette Series.

Photo from *Cinnamon's Flickr

I am not really good at speeches so I tend to shy away from giving a toast especially in weddings.  But I know I will have to give a toast someday.  Below are some guidelines I found on how to give a memorable toast.  I mean memorable in a good way.

• Always make your toast about the bride and the groom.
• Do not bring up anything about ex’es.
• Mention how you are related to the bride or groom and your thought about the wedding.
• Know the crowd.  A buttoned-up crowd may call for a more serious toast, while an easy-going crowd may be open to a more relaxed one.
• Keep it short.  I have an attention span of a 5-year old and I find a lot of adults are the same.  Keeping it short also allows more time for other people to give their toast.
• Keep it rated G.  Remember grandmas and grandpas are most likely in the party.
• Add witty anecdotes, or something funny about the couple.  Everyone wants a good laugh.
• Avoid racy and embarrassing subjects.
• Stay relatively sober.
• Don’t read your whole toast, but come prepared.  Think beforehand of what you will say, but don’t memorize your speech.  Be more spontaneous or at least make it look spontaneous.  Bring note cards if you’re worried you’ll forget or freeze up.
• Speak slowly and loudly.
• End on a high note.  Congratulate the couple or mention how happy you are for them, then don’t forget to say “Cheers!”

Up next on the Wedding Guest Etiquette Series: Ceremony and reception

Photo from INeedWeddingHelp.com

The first wedding I attended in the US was a friend/coworker’s.  I was “fresh-off-the-boat” then and I was not familiar with the gift-giving etiquette in the US.  Gift-giving rules/etiquette from my country was very different.  I have educated myself with wedding guest etiquette in the US since.  Looking back, I felt so stupid with the gift I gave my friend/coworker.

So here’s what I’ve learned from my mistake:

• If you’re not sure, ask.
• The internet is your best friend.  You can find almost all the answers to your questions online.
• If you’re coming from another country, educate yourself with the traditions and etiquette of the country you’re currently in.

And here are the answers to the more important gift questions I had:

How much should my gift cost?
Some would suggest using the price-per-plate as basis.  But it’s preferable to base the value on your relationship with the couple.  The closer you are to the couple, the higher the value.  Other factors you might also want to consider are your finances, travel and lodging expenses, expenses on other related events.  Do not spend less than $50.

TheKnot.com suggested the following:

• Coworker and/or a distant family friend or relative: $50-$75
• Relative or friend: $75-$100
• Close relative or close friend: $100-$150+

By the way, monetary gifts are always appreciated.  Even though the couple has a gift registry or has not said anything about what they prefer, monetary gifts are usually what is most preferred.

Can I send a gift that is not in the couple’s gift registry?
It is suggested to refrain from doing so.  Gift registries are there for a reason… so guests could know what the couple wants.

Can I bring my gift to the wedding?
There’s really no rule about bringing a gift to the wedding.  But weddings can be very hectic and stressful for the couple, so shipping the gift to them before the wedding is the more thoughtful option.  You can, however, bring monetary gifts to the wedding.

When should I send my gift?
You have up to about a year after the wedding to send your gift.  But try to send your gift within two months of the wedding.

Do I still have to send a gift if I am unable to attend the wedding?
While the bridal shower is the only wedding-related event that requires a gift, it is common practice to send a gift for the wedding even when you’re unable to attend.

Up next on the Wedding Guest Etiquette Series: Giving a toast

Geek brides rejoice!  Here are a few fun things you might enjoy:

Dream Day: Married in Manhattan

Want to plan a wedding?  You can do it virtually with I-Play’s Dream Day: Married in Manhattan.  The goal of the game is to help two couples create their ultimate NYC wedding.  Choose 27 actual Manhattan venues around Greenwich village and the Upper East Side.  Solve dramatic wedding crises and complete 42 wedding challenges.  Earn registry items for the couple.  You also get to unlock two honeymoon levels.  The game is PC-based and can be purchased for $19.95 at I-Play.

Wedding Dash

Wanna know how it feels like to be a wedding coordinator on someone’s special day?  Get your hands on PlayFirst’s Wedding Dash.  Your goal is to help Quinn make that special day run smoothly.  And in this game, it won’t be easy.  There will be unruly guests, falling cakes, catty bridesmaids.  The game features 50 levels, 10 different guest types, 9 wedding mishaps and more.  The game is available for $19.95 at PlayFirst.

Connected Weddings

Plan your wedding on the go with the iPhone app: My Wedding.  The app features 166 pre-populated To Do items.  In addition, you can add, edit and track items.  You can also organize items by category or due date.  A bonus feature allows you to spin a wedding decider to help make crucial decisions.  I usually don’t feature and download iPhone apps that are not free.  But this looks like something brides might use for their wedding planning.  You can download it from the App store for $3.99.

Anticipation

Excited about the wedding?  The iPhone App: Anticipation is a multiple event countdown.  It helps keep track of upcoming events including your wedding.  It gives you the number of days remaining until the big day.  The app is available for download from the App store for $0.99.  Other countdown apps such as Wedding Day and ’til Wed are also available for $0.99.

Ever wonder what the difference is between black-tie and formal?  Ever felt confused as to what to wear to a certain type of wedding?  Read on for a short guide to what to wear to a wedding.

Do not wear white unless requested by the couple or host.  Some brides may not be bothered by guests wearing white, but a lot do.  To be on the safe side, do not wear white or something that may resemble the bride’s dress.

It is okay to wear black to an evening event.  Some think that black is too gloomy for such a happy occassion.  But contrary to what a lot of people think, it is okay to wear black for evening weddings.  However, black during daytime may not be appropriate.

Out of respect for the couple, do not wear flashy, overtly sexy attire or anything close to that.

Below is a list of what’s appropriate for each type of event:

White Tie – the most formal
Him: tuxedo, long jacket with tails, white pique vest, bow tie, formal black shoes, white gloves
Her: formal full-length neutral-color ball gown, dramatic jewelry and hair

Black Tie – second most formal
Him: tuxedo, black bow tie, cummerbund, patent leather shoes
Her: neutral-color cocktail dress or long evening gown in a dark

Formal / Black Tie Optional
Him: tuxedo, formal dark suit and tie
Her: long dress, dressy suit, formal cocktail-length dress in neutral colors

Beach Formal – elegant beach affair
Him: summer suit with a linen shirt (no ties required), linen pants or khakis, sandals
Her: tea- or knee-length formal summer sundress, flat sandals

Semiformal / Dressy Casual
Him: suit and tie
Her: cocktail dress, dressy skirt and top

Casual – (almost) anything goes
Him: Dress pants, button-down shirt, polo
Her: summer sundress, skirt or pants with a nice blouse

Click here for more info at TheKnot.com.

Up next on the Wedding Guest Etiquette Series: Giving Wedding Gifts

Engaged couples have a lot on their plate, so make their lives easier and give them a little gift of RSVP’ing ON TIME.  Below are more tips on RSVPs.

• If there’s no RSVP-by date, RSVP as soon as you can.  Try to RSVP no later than three weeks before the event.
• If your invitation says only your name (without “and guest” or anyone else’s name), bring only yourself to the wedding.  If you can’t go alone, find another invited guest that you can go with.  If you don’t know any of those that are invited, you have the option to not go.
• Do not accept an invitation to an out-of-town or destination wedding expecting the couple to pay for your accommodations or other travel expenses like flights and non-wedding-related meals.

Up next on the Wedding Guest Etiquette Series: Proper attire

I always hear about etiquette for engaged couples… do this, do that, you’re not supposed to do this or that.  Other people are even so critical.  But instead of focusing on what the couples are doing right or wrong, let’s focus on ourselves as guests.

I don’t see a lot of etiquette info for wedding guests online.  So I decided to make a short series on wedding guest etiquette.  I will be talking about RSVP etiquette this coming Thursday, so stay tuned.