We aren’t planning on having a big wedding party. In fact, we might not even have a maid-of-honor and a best man. But as I go through my wedding planning, my wonderful friends have been there for me like a bride’s dream team of bridesmaids.
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Then I saw this article at A Practical Wedding about asking friends to be “non-bridesmaids” when you’re not having a bridal party / bridesmaids at your wedding. I think it’s an interesting idea. Even though I’m not having a wedding party, I still want my friends to be part of my wedding and I want them to know how much I appreciate them. As a non-bridesmaid, they won’t need to shell out money for bridesmaid dresses (that they might not be able to wear again), shoes, accessories, hair, make-up, etc. They are free to do what bridesmaids do, but are not obligated to do so. And of course, they get special treats from me 
But before I decide whether to have non-bridesmaids or not, I would like to know how others would feel if they are asked to be non-bridesmaids.
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I honestly think it’s kind of a cop-out. If you don’t want a wedding party, that’s fine, but you should be prepared to handle the duties yourself. I’m considering not having a wedding party for my own wedding, but I don’t expect anyone to do the heavy lifting besides me and my FI (and maybe our parents a bit). I was a non-bridesmaid for my friends’ same-sex commitment ceremony. Now, I understand why they didn’t have a bridal party and I was happy to help — to a degree, but I spent a lot of time and money and energy and yet we got no recognition. Yes, I realize how selfish this sounds, but when you’re a BM, there’s a sense of everyone around knowing what you did to contribute. When you’re one of the non-BM friends, it’s just kind of a letdown. We did the entire thing ourselves including all the cooking and I even took time out of work to help. Anyway, I’d be happy to help out if asked, but call it what it is. I think calling it a “non-bridesmaid” just sort of adds to the hurt feelings that can arise. BTW, I wasn’t the only “non-BM” to feel this way. And I certainly don’t think you should expect your “non-BMs” to throw a shower for you, as the woman referenced in that article did. It’s basically just about all the time, energy and cost of being a BM with none of the perks.